Singular Reliance

Apple Blossom isn’t about the apples. Not anymore anyways. Maybe once it was. The apples are only just blooming. But its not about the blocks of lawn parties or the unsafe carnivals where all the middle school kids hang out every night. Nor is it about the games at the midway or the beauty pageant girls waving on the fire trucks during the parade. Its not about the marching bands or even watching the Friday night fireworks. Its about that feeling before the fireworks you have sitting at sunset, feeling the grass on your skin with the smell of spring among tens of thousands of people but feeling alone with the person beside you. Its about reuniting with friends you haven’t seen in years, its about riding the ferris wheel even though the man running it looks homeless and you know it can’t be safe at all, and then going and dunking your principle in the dunk booth. Its about knowing that all the street vendor games are fixed but playing anyway and winning a stuffed animal for your girlfriend. Its about shoving your ice cream cone into your boyfriends face. Its about getting days out of school because they know the students wouldn’t come anyway. Its about the smell of funnel cake and everything deep fried. Its about the look in a 5 year-old’s eyes when he sees that big red truck and hears its siren go off loud enough to shake the windows of the houses. Its about about the moment when everyone applauds as a man just proposed on a float. Its about missing the parade altogether because you were too busy walking from house to house. Its about the Drum Majors leading the band in complete unison along to the cadence. Its about being so nervous to kiss that girl next to you on the grass that you miss the fireworks altogether. Apple Blossom is about walking down the middle of the street with your best friends with no idea where you’re going.  And oh, while you’re here, might as well try an apple.

I wrote that in high school. My best friend, Will, has been talking about making a documentary of the Shenandoah Apple Blossom Festival for years and I wrote the monologue to be a part of it. Its meaning has only intensified. Returning to my home town’s fête is always a exuberant expereince. From the sumptuous Coronation - or crowning of our Queen - to the 10K race that the Kenyans always win to the 5 hour  Grand Feature Parade marshaled this year by the one and only A.C. Slater - Mario Lopez, Apple Blossom has a way of sticking with you. Despite its absolute corny-ness and its ridiculous fashion, there is something in the humid air that has been bringing us back for 85 years.

and most likely, it will continue to bring us back together for 85 more.

My friend Austin asked me to write him letter explaining why I choose to follow Jesus. This was my response.

To explain why I follow Christ is an imperative that does not, with ease, translate well to the linear mind. The only linear explanation I have found that pleases the logician is this: I choose Christ because he first choose me. This concept was once illustrated very wonderfully by the ever-quoted C.S. Lewis in his books Chronicles of Narnia in which Lucy, the youngest girl is searching in the woods for Aslan, the Lion, and creator of Narnia. When she finds him she exclaims with much joy how she has been looking for him, to which he plainly states, “you would have not been looking for me, if I hadn’t called to you first.”

To the sociologist I would defend what attracts me so strongly to Jesus is his perfect guidance in human conduct. Even in the writings to follow his life, that is the new testament, offer, without fail, a perfect proposal for living a wholesome, joyful and meaningful life - if a man were to live a life outlined by the teachings of Jesus, Paul, Peter and James you would have met a perfect man, and I would imagine a very good friend.

But I think, nay believe, the strongest case for anyone who identifies them self as a follower of the Christ recognizes they were once slaves. Slaves to sin, a condition that exists in our very flesh and is heredity and like many diseases,  ultimately leads to death. We are born selfish- of our first words I would strongly contend “mine” is used years before “yours,” and even more years before “ours.” This infection grows and we have no option but suffer its symptoms, manifested in all the things we do wrong. But some have found freedom: the ability to deny those selfish tendencies through a deliverance  offered by the sacrificial death of Jesus. He died so that I may be free.

So why do I follow him? The apostles, those amongst the first followers of Jesus, called themselves bond-servants - someone who was set free but loved their master so much he puts himself back in the service of his master.

That is why I follow Jesus: because I love Him.


Hope this helps,
Ben Savory

I’m learning why God hates debt.I think its for two reasons. First, when you are in debt you are a slave to it. You have to make sure you’re making enough money to pay it back, you have to. Second, it inhibits us from just going.

I have in my heart so many ambitions. The past couple of days my desire to act and direct has been swelling in me again like a force of expanding matter, as if I’ve had a pilot light flickering for a year and now, all of a sudden, its ablaze - consuming all my thoughts and desires.

I feel like I did in middle school and high school when I would start liking a girl. The idea of her would sneak its way into my mind and present itself as if it has always been there. From there, it would ignite. Burning its way through my cognitive paradigms until she served as the common denominator for all experiences. I would wake up thinking of her, fall asleep thinking of her. Most of us have been there, have we not? Well, that’s what acting is doing to me. Stronger than it ever did in high school or college. If I don’t act, if I don’t direct, if I don’t get this out of me I’m going to explode.

Not to over spiritualize, but the only other similar experience I have is with the Gospel. I see it in every situation. If I don’t talk about it, I feel like I’m caging fire.

So in the next few months as I pursue a life after the Institute, pray for me and this passion I have for theater, for those in theater and those who enjoy it. Pray for my guidance and patience - perhaps its not yet my time, or perhaps my time is now. Pray for geographical affirmation. I don’t know where I’m going yet, in fact, I have no clue. The only thing holding me back are my student loans. I’m scared of paying them back. I don’t mind living in van down by the river, but I do mind owing people money. I wish I had never started with them, but I didn’t know any better. I thought it as necessary. I’m thankful that I’m here now and will make the best of it.

It is not light that we need, but fire; it is not the gentle shower, but thunder. We need the storm, the whirlwind, and the earthquake.
Frederick Douglass

I’ve realized I use the word “that” often when I write. I’ve also recently learned that using it makes your writing weak. I came under this realization after reading Donald Miller’s blog discussing his experience with the word “that.” (found here: http://donmilleris.com/2012/03/22/writing-tip-treat-the-word-that-like-a-cuss-word/)

I think I often use words like ‘that” because it reflects my inner desire to be lax and meek. I often say “probably” when I mean “definitely” and “I think” instead of “I know.” For example: ” We should probably start heading back” or “I think its a bad idea to go in there” when I really mean “We should definitely start heading back” or “I know its a bad idea to go in there.”  I think that by lessening the strength of words or phrases I somehow make it more acceptable to the ears receiving. 

I believe I have gotten much better. I try and catch myself in those situations. Yet, when I look over writings of Paul, especially in his letter of Romans, I see very strong writing. Unapologetic writing, bold writing, writing without the word “that.”

Paul had never been to Rome at this point and wanted to visit badly - much like my mother. What was significantly interesting about Rome though was not one of the Apostles had stepped foot in the city yet there was a large and growing following of Believers. Somehow, the Romans had caught wind of the message of Jesus and despite murderous persecution, were thriving. Paul, unlike his other letters to churches which usually outlined what they were doing wrong, wrote this letter to the Romans to outline the Gospel as a format. In this way, he could hand over this writing to them and they would know all the fundamental basics of the Faith. He did this in 7 sections.

1. Introduction and Theme. (1:1-1:17)
Paul clearly sits up his letter with an encouragement as its underlying theme:

For I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God that brings salvation to everyone who believes: first to the Jew, then to the Gentile. (Romans 1:16)

2. Condemnation (1:18 – 3:20)
Here, Paul clearly explains that man is responsible and in desperate need of God’s righteousness.

Now we know that whatever the law says, it says to those who are under the law, so that every mouth may be silenced and the whole world held accountable to God. Therefore no one will be declared righteous in God’s sight by the works of the law; rather, through the law we become conscious of our sin.(Romans 3:19-20)

3. Justification (3:21 – 5:21)
Paul explains how God’s Justice is beyond condemnation and punishment, but involves mercy.

For we maintain that a person is justified by faith apart from the works of the law.(Romans 3:28)

4. Sanctification (6:1 – 8:39)
Paul asks the question we all ask, If God’s just going to forgive me, can I can just keep sinning anyway? He tells us, ahhhhh heck no. He explains its going to be difficult and its going to often feel like waging war with your own body, but its the process of becoming more like Christ.

5. Restoration (9-11)
In this part of Romans, Paul elaborates on the role of Jews in History and his heart for them. But goes on to explain, its now the role of the Gentile (anyone who is not Jewish) to share Christ’s love with them.

6. Application (12:1 – 15:13)
Paul describes the behavior of those who have received God’s Righteousness: through our bodies, our gifts, our life; through submission, interaction, unity in diversity, personal sacrifice and authentic worship.

Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.(Romans 12:1-2)

7. Conclusion (15:14 – 16:27)
Paul wraps it up by saying go, get out of here. Take the Gospel and live it. Don’t be a hypocritical christian who says a bunch of holy things and lives another life or who lives a deceivingly good life but has evil dripping in their hearts.

Paul says what he means, he doesn’t say probably when he means definitely, and he doesn’t use that unless its important. I hope I can be like that in my everyday life. I hope I can take what he says with the seriousness in which he wrote it. I hope you can do.

A Lott has changed.

Not too long ago, I attended a wedding for my friend Arianne Winston (now Lott). I had literally just got off the plane from Israel (I promise I’ll write about Israel, I promise). So after 3 planes spanning 18 hours in the air, my friend Jordon Jones picked me up at the airport, I changed in a Whattaburger parking lot and showed up to the wedding. I was dead tired.

(Jordon, who was kind enough to pick me up from the airport and go to the wedding with me so I didn’t have to sit alone)

But as we were walking up to this Dallas wedding, I saw Air and her father taking a few pre-wedding photos. I waved shyly as I passed on my way to the chapel. But Air had other plans. She screamed for me to get my…. butt over there!

Its been a long time since I’ve seen this girl. She spent 2 years in Jordon learning Arabic and sharing the love of Jesus Christ with the Middle Eastern peoples. She came home to North Carolina a year ago and life has kept us a part. But a certain young man, a Mr. Lott couldn’t stay away. He followed her home and proposed!

Now, I love this family, the Winstons. They have long supported me in all my endeavors and have always been a joy in my life. But I had completely underestimated the need for me to be at this wedding.

I was attacked upon arrival, flooded with excitement and embrace. Helena, the youngest sister had not told anyone in the family I was coming. They were caught off guard as I walked past and stopped everything to greet me. The wedding was in moments, so Jordon and I went into the chapel. Again, I was humbled. There were only about 30 people at this wedding. Among them I couldn’t find another peer who wasn’t in the wedding party itself. Who am I, that I was invited to this wedding, that I was sought to be a part of this?

It made me think, sitting there in a pew, of Psalm 8:4, “what is man that you are mindful of him, the son of man that you care for him?”
Who are we that our God is mindful of us!? what worth! This family treasures me. I am important to them. I cross their mind. They think of me! And so does my God. Does that change the way you think? When you know some one thinks of you through out the day or before they fall asleep?

The doors opened and she flooded the church with her radiance. I was so tired that I couldn’t keep myself from tearing up. She looked absolutely beautiful. Jeff, the groom, couldn’t believe it was happening.

There came a point during the reception after Best Man, Maid of Honor and the Bride’s Father (who read a letter he wrote her for his day when she was dedicated to Christ as a child, #Heartwrenching) all gave speeches that the microphone was open to any one. I sort of inched forward but drew back. But Air’s mother pushed me from behind, so I went up. Now, you may be wondering how I even know this family, especially well enough to speak at the wedding. And I think what I said that night sums it up.

“Hi, I’m fairly confident that absolutely no one here knows who I am. And I don’t know any of you, even Jeff, (turn to look at jeff) its very nice to meet you by the way. So who am I? I think the easiest way to explain that it is to say, I’m the long lost, distant Winston Brother. (there are 3 daughters). And not because of anything I’ve done, but because of the love and responsibility given to me by this family. My name is Ben, but they all call me Macy. Because you see, I met Arianne 6 years ago at Young Life camp. In fact, she met my friend August first; he was swimming in the pool at camp with these 4 blondes and being the jealous teenage boy who wanted in on some of the action, I jumped in to join.
I walked up and said hey and Helena, in her forwardness asked, ‘who are you?’
I thought she asked, ‘what are you?’ to which I responded, ‘I’m Amazing’
‘a Macy? that’s a weird name.’ And it stuck. The whole family calls me Macy now.
Now the word of God tells us that a man who finds a wife finds a good thing. Jeff, you have found a very, very good thing. And if there is one thing that Air has taught me through her life is Ecclesiastes 9:10 ‘Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might,’ She works hard at everything she does, often too hard. And marriage is going to be difficult, but do it with all your might. I love you guys. Blessings.”

Ever since I met Arianne, her sister Helena, family friend Anna Lisa (from Scotland) and her friend Hannah in the pool, I have known that there needed be a special man for each of them. Arianne is a very strong-willed woman and loves with all her might. I am so proud of her and for Jeff for not settling for anything less than incredible.

Arianne, thank you so much for including me in your life, every step of the way. From the high school night phone calls, the road trip adventures full of ultimate frisbee, harry potter book releases and plots to blow up fences, to thoughts of going East, skype dates and now, to your wedding. I can’t wait to see where you go.

The Winstons et all, Thank you so much for your constant support, inviting me into your home and sharing with me your life. Joe, thank you for your wisdom in the Christian life, as father and husband, and in Port Wine.

*A really cute and amazing video of the last 24 hours before Air’s wedding is on the post above! filmed by Anna Lisa

Air, me and Anna Lisa at Young Life’s Sharptop Cover 2007